Why You Ask?

After finishing my last post I find myself asking... Why am I posting this anyways?! I think my main reason for doing this blog is to be able to let my feelings out. I have been having such a hard time with my Grandma's Cancer and not being able to have anyone to relate that it has been hard. I don't know what is to come of this but I do know that just to be able and vent a little will be good for me. The main person I vent to is Emma bear and even she doesn't wanna listen to her mommy vent all the time lol!! : )

Alot Can Change in a Year

Over the past year many things have changed throughout my life. When I think about what this week was like just one short year ago... it all seemed so much more simpler and real. My life these past few months since April have definitely been something that I don't necessarily want to think are real but I know that they are. Let me let you in on where I am.... This is my last semester of college I am only four full months away from being a college graduate. I honestly am so proud of myself for conquering my schooling with still having Emma. Emma is now almost fifteen whole months old. And she is just absolutely my world. I thank god for her everyday. 

Me & Eric are doing very well. I love him more than he will ever even know. He is my rock and I can's express how grateful I am to have found him at such a young age and be so happy to be able to spend my entire life with my soul-mate. Most of my family is doing well grandpa Ray had his brain surgery to help with the Parkinson's and he seems to be doing very well. My sister has made such amazing progress over the last year hopefully becoming the women that I knew she could be. My mom well shes my mom she has some serious issues I pray for her often but I know that at the age of 41 shes never going to stop the drugs, so with that being said I have decided to cut her out of my life and move on to brighter things. I honestly love her and I am not an emotional person really but I can't take her killing herself slowly anymore. I want to remember her as she is and not the druggy I see her as today. My dad still driving me nuts but I truly do think that me means well and just wants to be accepted into what he thinks is my life. Grandpa Ralph is doing well he has problems with his knees and can handle get around too much but he is the most gentle soul I have ever known I love him dearly. Grandma Linda has not really been doing very well. Her cancer as we found out last week has become more aggressive and has moved into her lungs making it harder for her to breathe. She has bad days and good days but no matter what it is still hard for me to see her like that/this (I guess if I am being realistic its here and its not going away-something I find myself struggling with). 
Eric's parents are on and off again continuously... I truly only wish them happiness in whatever it is that they feel they are missing and whether its together or not I know that one day they will find that happiness. Holly & Kurt have finally moved on from each other a lil before Thanksgiving and I am so happy for Holly she can now fulfill whatever it is that her heart desires and she can be the person she wants to be without Kurt being controlling. And Jade hes doing much better just living his life and trying to stay out of trouble. Me well me you ask... I don't know a little after Emma's birthday I was having some issues with depression and anxiety but I do feel better now. I just don't feel like myself. I think alot of it has to do with my grandma's cancer but it's just so hard to deal with all of this and face that it really is happening and right before my eyes at that. But thats it for tonight.. I am finally getting tired. Good night blog.